3 Indian Marriage Stories- Funny or Weird, You Decide!

 In General

Indian marriage! The term is enough to create many thoughts and images in mind. Marriages in India as well as Indian marriages abroad can end up being insane processes. Especially, selecting a prospective match involves many factors which exclude the couple in concern!

Readaddict has some outrageously funny tales from some of these weddings. One cannot help but laugh on these stories based on true events. These are related to events leading up to a typical Indian marriage. Enjoy!

1. Excuse me…

This one happened in remote interior of Maharashtra, west of India. The would-be bride and groom were informed of their parents’ choices for their life partners. When the boy and the girl came to know about this, they somehow managed to get in touch with each other.

Since it was an arranged Indian marriage, they had very little clue about each other. But they learnt few things about one another over phone conversations. They also stole few moments to meet for 5 minutes evading watchful Indian parents and society’s ‘prohibitory laws’.

Days passed and marriage day soon arrived. A few hours before the marriage the guy was eager to introduce his would-be-bride to his best friend, who had just arrived from America for the wedding. But it was hard to meet alone with so many judgmental people all around as is the case in an Indian marriage.

But one opportunity did come! The bride was alone on a phone call in the marriage venue corridor with her back towards the boys. When the friend asked the soon-to-be married guy to call her, they realized something absurd!

During all the nervousness and hoopla leading to the marriage day, he had forgotten to ask the girl her name! Since his parents took care of all the invitation cards and marriage formalities, he never found out. Not even in his 5 minute conversation few days earlier!

Before, he could make her look their way she had gone back to her room!

2. Indian Marriage Criteria

This story too involves events before a typical Indian arranged marriage. A prospective boy’s parents were searching for a suitable match for their son. As is happens in many cases, the guy was hardly involved in this process!

Anyways, he stayed in Bangalore,South India for work while his parents searched for girls in Madhya Pradesh, Central India. He had no intention to marry since he had just begun working. But it was hardly his decision. His parents had emotionally blackmailed him enough over innumerable phone calls.

They went around meeting families in their community for girls of marriageable age . But the doting mother and father found some or the other flaws in these families. If not the family, the girl definitely had some! According to the weird explanations listed by his parents for giving a thumbs down to many were.

  • No relative in common with the girl and their family
  • Someone in girl’s family was married to a certain someone with a skin disorder
  • Girl was too short or fat or loud. One even had a good (meaning ‘higher’) degree
  • Girl was so bold that she dared to ask the guy’s qualification!
  • The girl worked full time!

The list went on and on. And if by chance, his parents managed to filter out a girl for him, he would reject the relation giving an equally absurd but convincing reason to his parents. He did not want to marry after all!

His parents found out about his little trickery to avoid marriage. So they decided that the next girl they select would be the one their son has to marry. No questions asked and no excuses to be given!

Finally, after seeing nearly 200 prospective girls, his parents zeroed in on the ‘One’!

The boy resigned to the Indian marriage system and unwillingly consented. You would think somehow the story ends here. But no sooner did he start taking interest in his would-be life partner, his parents backtracked.

Reason: The girl had gone on a New Year’s party late night, the previous year, where boys were present!

I dare you to apply reason here people.

3. The NRI one!

In this story, our victim (guy) is a Non-resident Indian living and working in Australia. As Indian marriage events procede, his parents had started searching for a suitable partner for him miles away in Delhi, India. His mother was using all forms of blackmailing to convince her son to come home, marry and go back to his routine.

When all her pleadings fell on deaf ears, she stopped miraculously! A couple of months later it was Diwali festival in India. The mother asked her son to come for holidays if nothing else. She promised not to pester him with marriage related issues. The boy agreed.

Two days into Diwali vacation, the family had planned on a trip to Tirupati, a popular religious site in South India. When they were moving about on the hills of Tirupati, they met another family from Delhi. His parents seemed to take an extra liking for this stranger family. They introduced their son from Australia to them with unusual boastfulness!

The unsuspecting boy soon got a call from the mother from this ‘other family’. She had begun crying how they would be destroyed if he didn’t marry their girl. Confused and shell-shocked, the boy was speechless!

He found out eventually that the religious tourism was a front for some other plan. Both the families had plotted this to get their children engaged, in Tirupati.

Before the boy could come to terms, he was already engaged and 10 days later went to Australia with a ring on his finger. He was married off 3 months later! You would feel for the boy but know this; the girl, despite knowing everything, had no say at any stage of the process. Indian marriage at its weirdest?

Did you ever experience something similar? I would like to think, you must have!

Please feel free to share such stories with us.

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